Hello Stress and Goodbye Sleep

September has come to an end.
And October will be rolling in soon.
shit.
SPM is in a month's time.

My stress level is way beyond max and trust me,
I don't even know how I'm going to survive.
Well than that's the job of Coffee and My beloved Chicken Essence. ;)

I really need to control my spending and STOP SPENDING MONEY.
I've spent like *i don't even dare to calculate* this month. :)
must learn to save.
what with recession comming in. lol.

finally.
The hard core mood has finally kicked in hard.
and it's driving me up and down the wall. ;)

just don't even have time to breath. :)

on a random note,
yea, jie you're right.
i should have listen to you long ago and not regret about it now.
i guess its not too late. :)
hehe.

Tomorrow is a public holiday and................
I have tution @ 10 am.
Add Maths wei. die.
Teacher called and
"elaine, I'm dropping all the hw in ur postbox now, I want it all completed by tomorrow."
pfft and I was having my dinner. mangkuk. shouldn't have brough my phone out. haha

so with all that amount of work and studying to do....
I'm never going to finish watching my 7 days. (i know..I'm outdated)
................. :)

and WK.
at least I don't drool over someone's picture 24/7.
I bet you have *ahem* picture under ur pillow. haha
or say and enlarge pic in ur room???

I MISS SCHOOL.

PERIOD.

Why need to study and memorise a whole lot about Reproduction.
Experimenting sounds better. :)
lol.

Girls

i know i should be with my books but i just have to type all this out.

GIRLS.

why are we just so complicating?

we seem to have that never ending conflicts between ourselves.

striving to be the most popular one.

always ready to kill to get what we want.

I know..it's condraticting. Me as a Girl saying all these.

but seriously.

I find us girls preety amusing at times.

one minute we can be best of friends.

the next we're bitting each other's heads off.

when we're close.

we're super close.

when we fight.

the roof and everything explodes.

sometimes i just wonder.

is it our nature that we're made like that

or

what other explanation is there to this all?

we keep revenges in us

altough we never say so.

seriously.....

why are we just so complicating?

I guess that's what makes us special.

because we're GIRLS.

period.

Staying Strong and Tough

I'm really really loosing it all.
I find it so hard to go through all this.
I just cant wait for the day I'll be able to spread my wings and fly.

Gawd.
Elaine. You need to stay strong.

I need to get a grip of my life.

Every single day.
I wear a mask. Putting up a brave show.
Deep within.
I'm hurting. I'm breaking down.

I'm so sick of it.

I just HAVE TO STAY STRONG.

Ps: for all those times you were there for me, it really means a lot. :)

I JUST FCUKING HATE YOU.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I CAN TOLERATE YOU ALL THESE 17 YEARS.
WHAT MORE ABOUT YEARS TO COME.
I JUST WANT YOU OUT MY LIFE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE TO DESERVE ALL THIS.
I'VE ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING.
I'M JUST SO SICK OF YOU.

When You're 16 going on 17

Stupid this post may seem.

But its the truth and nothing but the truth.

Crap.

That's how I feel now.

All these years,

I look foward to every single b'day,

Anticipating the time when I can blow an extra candle on my b'day cake.

ahha. The sensation of being matured every year.

But now as I write this today as a 16 year old teenager

I only have a few hours left before I turn 17.

Honestly, I don't really look foward to turning 17 anymore.

It was a dream of a kid to be 17

but now,

I don't see the light in that dream anymore.

The only good thing is that ahem I can drive!!!!!!!!!!!

lol.

Tears are brimming in my eyes.

Well, I guess i just have to accept the fact that i'm getting OLDER...lol... :)

yet to make my 17 wishlist with my 17 dreams....

till then....when Elaine is still 16.....

the wonderful memories of being 16 will always be stuck in my mind.

Hopefully and prayfully,

me being 17 will bring around a whole lot of goodness!

Birthday Jitters.