Four more days left to the time we say goodbye to 2009 and say hello to 2010.
I woke up this am with such a heavy heart and emotions of a dead person. and I wondered why. It was as though someone had put me through an emotional tribulence that I do not need and want to face. and I wonder why this has to happen now.
The time has come now again for reflection, the time to look back at the year and ponder upon our thoughts, actions.
When the year 2009 started, it was a new begining and chapter of my life one that marked my journey through pre-U. The road was a very rocky one, having to balance and adapt to the new place, environment, new study scheme and all. I made it through but then alot had happened to make it through the year.
The roller coaster ride of emotions started of with a big spin off. I didnt know I could even survive through it all. but I did in the end. It was indeed a time of pain and suffering trying to get over things. Some people say that tears can make things better somehow the tears could never come making thigns even worst. it was like a mental torture.
There was only one way I knew that could make me forget things. BOOKS. ok I know it sounds NERDISH but heck it worked. I was so occupied with my work till it became the best remedy I have ever found.
As time went on, the feelings became to fade even more, it was like a mere shawdow following me one that was getting smaller as the light became brighter. Soon there were so much happening around me that I could not even find the time and moments to think about it. At that point I thought I had letten go.
But somehow or the other, as if it was a prank I discovered alot of new things that I didnt even know myself. i knew if i did not take on the role of an assasin and get rid of whats left, i was bound to suffer another period of pain and suffering. Someway or the other by the grace of the Lord i managed to do so slowly. The scar began to peel and the scabs began to fall and indeed the wound was starting to heal.
I thank God for my friends who were there for me holding me through the whole way. I knew it that it was all finally over.
The whole time I was so caught up with my life I never had time to actually sit down and observe and reflect.
It was until the pass few weeks that things began to change, changing things for the better and it was as though a BIG BURDEN has been lifted off my shoulders.
But today why do I sit here with this heavy heart and thoughts. Its as though I seem guilty of something which i did not even commit. I wish someone could tell me why.
I can now finally place you and close you in the Chapters of 2009 and keep it aside on the shelf. a chapter that has finally closed and be done with. the friendship that we share now is indeed one that I will treasure.
and when 2010 comes along, I can now open a fresh new page and pen down a new story.
there's still many areas for refelction but for now, this chapter is closed. and indeed I am glad and happy that a new begining can now come along.
i hope i can make things right this time.
I woke up this am with such a heavy heart and emotions of a dead person. and I wondered why. It was as though someone had put me through an emotional tribulence that I do not need and want to face. and I wonder why this has to happen now.
The time has come now again for reflection, the time to look back at the year and ponder upon our thoughts, actions.
When the year 2009 started, it was a new begining and chapter of my life one that marked my journey through pre-U. The road was a very rocky one, having to balance and adapt to the new place, environment, new study scheme and all. I made it through but then alot had happened to make it through the year.
The roller coaster ride of emotions started of with a big spin off. I didnt know I could even survive through it all. but I did in the end. It was indeed a time of pain and suffering trying to get over things. Some people say that tears can make things better somehow the tears could never come making thigns even worst. it was like a mental torture.
There was only one way I knew that could make me forget things. BOOKS. ok I know it sounds NERDISH but heck it worked. I was so occupied with my work till it became the best remedy I have ever found.
As time went on, the feelings became to fade even more, it was like a mere shawdow following me one that was getting smaller as the light became brighter. Soon there were so much happening around me that I could not even find the time and moments to think about it. At that point I thought I had letten go.
But somehow or the other, as if it was a prank I discovered alot of new things that I didnt even know myself. i knew if i did not take on the role of an assasin and get rid of whats left, i was bound to suffer another period of pain and suffering. Someway or the other by the grace of the Lord i managed to do so slowly. The scar began to peel and the scabs began to fall and indeed the wound was starting to heal.
I thank God for my friends who were there for me holding me through the whole way. I knew it that it was all finally over.
The whole time I was so caught up with my life I never had time to actually sit down and observe and reflect.
It was until the pass few weeks that things began to change, changing things for the better and it was as though a BIG BURDEN has been lifted off my shoulders.
But today why do I sit here with this heavy heart and thoughts. Its as though I seem guilty of something which i did not even commit. I wish someone could tell me why.
I can now finally place you and close you in the Chapters of 2009 and keep it aside on the shelf. a chapter that has finally closed and be done with. the friendship that we share now is indeed one that I will treasure.
and when 2010 comes along, I can now open a fresh new page and pen down a new story.
there's still many areas for refelction but for now, this chapter is closed. and indeed I am glad and happy that a new begining can now come along.
i hope i can make things right this time.
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