Wonders and ponders

There are times during the day where I can just sit there and wonder and stare and just think for hours and hours why is this all happening? It's like walking HELL at times just thinking about it. and then there is this rush and surge of emotions flooding me all over.

Sometimes I wish, you never came into my life and all this would not have happened and neither would I even be the way I am now, but things do happen for a reason don't it? Since you came into my life, things has been changing, its like a total turmoil change and I don't doubt that this changes have brought about good things and as well as bad things.

There are alot of things that we can never predict that will happen but hey, since when can anyone predict the future and whats to come?

I choose to believe that things do happen for a reason and why we are placed at certain places and why we meet certain people and whatsover.

What we don't do is to sit back reflect and think and ask and ponder upon our thoughts and ask why do this things happen and how we can make the best out of it.I do wonder out loud at times why do such things happen to me? Haven I been through enough of all this? but no this things don't stop happening to me. It keeps on replaying like a videotape in me and worst still it doesn't replay in my head or my mind. REPLAY button plays in reality.

Its like a love-hate relationship that I have now. this whole thing, at times I ask are all this things all worth it? Is it worth all the time and thoughts and everything?

So much has happened and I probably was being just so NAIVE to think that i can handle this all and that none of this would never happen again. BUT YET AGAIN i was kidding myself.

I try so hard to put all this aside and sometimes the harder I try, it becomes like a KNIFE that stabs.

No matter how HARD I were to wish and pray, this things would never change. Only time can heal what has happened and it lies in my hands now as to what will happen in the future.
There are just times where I just want to breakdown and cry and just let it all go but deep within I know tears will never heal this wound you left here in me.

Our place and our life here on earth is just a temporary home, it's up to us to make the best out it. but for now, no matter how BIG OR HOW WIDE a smile I plaster on my face, it's more like a plastic smile just to keep the questions away but deep within its hurting so much, I don't even know how much longer I can keep this up.

and when I thought I was over it all, it comes rushing back to me.

Walk with me again

I should not be here blogging when I should be finishing my Writing Credit submission. but oh wells.

Sometimes in life, we take things for granted and then we complain like crazy about LIFE to the cows come home and till the day the moon turns blue. But what we never do is STOP and LOOK at life and really appreciate what we have at the moment in time. =)

Finally dragged my ass to DJ and got my SPM slip after donkey period of time. =/ Think the main reason why I didn't want to go and take it was not because I didn't have the time but it was more like I DON'T EVEN WANNA LOOK at that SLIP and be reminded of my RESULTS. ugh. but i had to anyway and so yea.

The minute I got out of the car, I heard my dearest Pn. Norela's voice talking about IONIC BONDS and what not and man I laughed like crazy remembering all those Chem lessons where where we did stupid and fun experiments and how for 2 years I said that I won't ever be satisfied if I ended High School without seeing Norela's FLY-FLY tudung catching fire. but SADLY it never happened. =( boo I had the mens rea but not the courage for the actus reus to go do it. HAHAHA.

Next. Pn. Lim's VOICE. continued laughing. I must have looked like a lunatic laughing all the way walking into school. I really missed those days where when we had Bio lessons in the am and how the whole class will snatch up Bio books and start copying each other's notes in awe of not getting kicked out of class. =D at the time yes we may have hated it so much but now, thinking back, I really miss doing what we do best. =D

Next. Pn. Norita. this is one teacher I actually am very FOND of. She laods us with work and she's the most CYNICAL of all but yet she's the best still. (: BM lessons were the bomb where we use to sit behind in class, and talk and talk and yap and yap and she will SCOLD us and and LOOOLS what not has she not done or said to us. she's still as FUNNY and cynical as ever. She told me this: "Bagus sekarang belajar law, mulut tu suka cakap banyak aje di kelas sekarang bolehla cakap seberapa banyak jadi peguam". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Met Norliza and Saik too. set those teachers aside.

Walking on that very grounds of DJ brought back the FONDEST MEMORIES ever. Like everything started REPLAYING in my head. it was as though someone press the PLAY button in my head.

I remember how we use to FRET so much about school, how we wanted to go to college so BADLY. Man I would KILL or do anything just to be a school student all over again. Wear that Blue uniform, carry that backpack and tie my hair. I miss all those ALOT ALOT including the toilets and the canteen food. =p

and now that I don't have it all. I miss it ALOT ALOT. =( lesson learned. ALWAYS ALWAYS appreciate what you have and never let it go. Savour every moment of that EVERLASTING Moment and don't begin to regret once you don't have it. I never seem to learn my lesson. tsk tsk.

enough ramble bamble. BACK TO WORK. =DDDDDDDDDDD

Mooting XOXO

Finally someone injected back all the lostt time of fun in my life. =D 10 weeks of law school+2 weeks of Spring term is just enough to make you screammm and SURRENDER. but oh wells, it's just the begining of everything sweet, sugary and spicy and all the what not random nutmeg's in lifeee....

I realised the reason why I neglected this blog totally was that it became more like a place for me to find solace and type all sorts of random rubbish what not. oh wells. =D

The most amazing thing about being a law student has just slipped by me and and all I have to say is this, MOOTING is one of the greatest ever experience I ever had so far in law school, yes. Set aside all those other events from the dining experience with the fact that I was sitted in the VIP table with Justice James Foong to the times where we got to meet the really cool bunch of lawyers from the Malaysian Bar Council to the time where we went to the Palace of Justice and all the yadaddada. none of this beat the feeling of MOOTING.

Things do happen for a reason and as much as we deny this, it's a MATTER of fact. The very fact that I was chosen to moot on the very first day meaning we had THE SHORTEST time available to prepare for it. and I really meant the shortest time available with the fact that we had MOCKS, *which i screwed i think* then Criminal assignment then GPL. WHAT NOT else somemoreee......

4 days were being spent at the library. LITERALLY SPENT there from the time the sun rose to the time the sun set. But ehh IT WAS VERY WORTH IT. =DDDDDDD

Basically the whole experience was something that cannot be described with WORDS and and that all I want is to do it all over again. (: but oh wells, as they say it might be a good whole 10 years before we can even stand up there at the podium again and submit and the next time it will be for REAL in front of real JUDGES. *faints*

Oh wells there's ALOT ALOT more that I want to say heree but then...I shall continue it the next time. (:

why can't I go back to being that happy girl I used to be?